More Than Just: Conversations with Misfits, Entrepreneurs and Change-makers

More Than Just a Juvenile Delinquent with Erin Marcus (she/her)

May 30, 2023 Mel McSherry Season 2 Episode 23
More Than Just: Conversations with Misfits, Entrepreneurs and Change-makers
More Than Just a Juvenile Delinquent with Erin Marcus (she/her)
Show Notes Transcript

In this fun and upbeat episode, I’m talking with Founder & CEO of Conquer Your Business, Erin Marcus (she/her). 

Together, we talk about the importance of taking responsibility for your life and working with our brains – not against them – to get the best outcomes for ourselves and our businesses.

We also explore:

  • Figuring out what you suck at and not doing it
  • Giving yourself a break, but not letting yourself off the hook
  • The helpfulness of embracing exclusively low-brow media
  • Finding out what you’re good at and exploiting it in service to others
  • How it’s all possible


🙌 This podcast is supported by listeners like you! If you enjoyed this episode, we'd appreciate it if you could make a donation of any amount at this link. You rock!

Music. I'm your host, Mel McSherry. On this podcast, we share how we are more than just descriptors and titles that identify us in our lives, our businesses, and our communities. In this safe common room space, you'll hear stories of success and lessons learned from, myself and other misfits, entrepreneurs, and change makers. My intention is to inform, connect, and expand our knowledge so we can be mentally, emotionally, financially profitable as we create the change we desire. My promise is that from each episode, you'll take away not only inspiration and a connection to someone you never knew before, but also the encouragement, the action steps and the support. So you can create what you want. Music. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to season two of more than just, I am your host, Mel McSherry. And once again, joined by another phenomenal human. Now, Aaron and I met through mutual friends, and I had the absolute honor pleasure. So fucking fun time on her podcast ready yet. And of course, I instantly wanted to not only return the favor, but selfishly spend more time with her because we had just spent I don't know, 15 minutes in the green room. We should be recording this. I know we should have. Just do it a tune it because that's the That's the type of energy, that's the type of people that I love spending time with and obviously love showing off and having people meet, get to know better, all the things. So first and foremost, Erin, thank you so much for being here today and spending your time and energy with us. I'm so excited. I need to think to spend more time with you, absolutely. It's funny, cause we're like just far enough away cause I'm in the city of Chicago and you're in the boroughs of Chicago. So it's like just enough of a long distance relationship that we gotta keep it, gotta keep it fresh. And make plans, have our paths cross. Right, exactly. So Erin, I always love to start off this very safe, open space conversation with this following question. What would you say is your main title or identifier? And how are you more than just? So when you first said that that was gonna be how you were opening this conversation, I was like, oh my God, I don't have one. And then, very interesting, because one of the things that I'm very intentional about is becoming an observer, being an observer of my own behavior and my own thought patterns. Because they tell you all sorts of things, right? So as you're saying, and you gave me some examples, I'm like, well, I don't have this really cool thing to say, or I wasn't resonating with what was, more than a marketer, like big, fat, hairy deal. But this is very interesting to me. The thing that popped in my head, which tells you. A little bit probably too much information about where I'm stocked personally, is I'm more than just a juvenile delinquent. Ooh. I'm sedalated for this conversation. Right? Like, wait, no. Full, full, full transparency. I was a professional juvenile delinquent. And I say professional because I made money at it. That's the dancing thing. We made money at it. It was the 70s and the 80s, Chicago Public Schools, and yes, every single stereotype, every movie you watched, yes, basically. I will often say some, I didn't have a bad home, but I chose to live in that world. Let's just put it that way. And so I do joke around about being a professional juvenile delinquent. I remember when my brother would complain, how come I don't get to do this, this, and Erin does, and you know, as my mother would call running the streets. That's what we did. We ran the street. I'm sure not sure exactly what that meant, but doing it evidently on a regular basis. And my mom would always joke around and say, well, that's because anyone who would cause a problem is actually one of Erin's friends. Because I was hanging out with the lunatics. And didn't go to high school, barely, barely, barely went to high school, had other things I was more interested in doing. Once I got to college, I'm like, oh, this is interesting. Now this is interesting. And now that being said, while I was a senior in high school, I used to work 60 hours a week at a job. Damn. I was off every other Thursday, wait, to go to my counselor, right? So. It's all about balance, Erin, balance. I was off every other Thursday to go to the counselor, right? Right. So now, to bring this home for folks who are watching or listening, where does my imposter syndrome pop up, right? Because I really, really, really know that I can do for my clients what I say I can do for my clients. Like, there's zero hesitation there. I have no problem with that. But when I get stuck, when I'm doing the next thing that scares me, when I'm trying to step out of my comfort zone. Mm-hmm. My reaction to your question tells me that somewhere in the back of my mind, I still see myself as that kid, didn't do well in school because really didn't go to school. I never felt stupid, but I wasn't one of the smart kids because you actually have to apply yourself to be one of the smart kids. That wasn't a thing for me back then. So isn't that interesting that when you ask me, what are you more than, instead of following your very cool examples of how people see me versus what I really am. I kind of went the other way. How people see me is the easy part, but what's in the back of my mind and how has that come to play, and sneak up on me as the real answer to your question? No, I'm fucking here for it because that's what this space is for. And that is one of the many reasons why I wanted to create this space because I talk about this in the first episode of season one, I found for me, titles and identifiers were comforting to me because I didn't have to try. I just had to see who I needed to be inside of the group or who somebody else saw me as and then I knew how far I needed to go, who I needed to be and that gave me structure, right? And then when I started stepping away from that and actually coming to your point of like, you know, that you are more than a delinquent or you're delinquent is, it was that question for for me of I'm more than just Drew's little sister, I'm more than just Anna's best friend, I'm more than just a coach, I'm more than just a mom. I mean, the mom title fucked me over more than anything. I don't have that problem. And I will tell you the funny part that I've observed over the fact that I don't have kids is even at 52 years old, when I find myself in the greater civilization society, I still identify with the kids more than the adults. Right? Not, right, like, cause I've never had to personally handle the problem. Yeah, yeah. So I will often look at what quote unquote kids are doing and when I'm watching their parents responding to it, well, why the hell do you think that? Of course they're doing that. That's what I would have done. And I still think that way. And I love that you, because that has been my kind of cool parenting style as well, is that take what your parents did and you do the exact opposite. And it's usually better. No offense, mom and dad. My parents did a fantastic job for how they could, for who I am and was. It is a pendulum. Exactly, it's a total pendulum. But I just see things differently. So the relationship I have with my son is very open. It's very communicative. It's very exploratory. It's not, well, I said so, because first of all, he's autistic. That does not work. So you're just, right, you can't, you can't. I can't fluff to save my life. It's gotta be talked about. It's gotta be factual. It's gotta be Google-able. Like, it's got to be. Tangible. And for me, that was actually a sense of relief, because for me, I didn't have to pretend everything's fine. If I'm having a shit day, first of all, he can feel it from the room next door. You can't hide it. No. And secondly, we talk about it like some days just fucking suck for me for you for everybody. So this is what I need to just take care of myself. And in return, he's done the same thing where if he just needs space, he'll look at me and be like, mom, I need space. Done. Cool. When you're ready to talk, whatever that looks like, I'm here. No hounding, no like- I don't know how any of you do this, by the way. It's a lot of trial and error. My brother has three children. One is an adult who's graduating college next month, so that's very, very, very, very- He is. Adult. He's like 23, so he's part- and he's a boy, so he's like part child, part adult. Right. Baby adult. Yeah. Baby adult. Perfect. Really crazy responsible. We're not sure where that came from. Somebody's always got to go the opposite direction. Again, pendulum. It's that pendulum. And then his two daughters who are amazing, amazing, amazing. 14 and 12 year old and. Seriously amazing in completely different ways. But I watch him and his wife and, and I couldn't do it. There'd be no, like the changing in the car between baseball and karate and this one, you know, especially at there's certain age breaks where they're going in two different directions. Yeah. A couple of years they come back together, but then they're at age break. So they go in two different directions again, which is currently where they're at. Feeding them on a regular basis. Seriously, how has that happened? That's why I like one. I'd say I'm more than just, mom is like not even, Like I caretaker, my boyfriend laughs at me. He's like, how did you survive for 12 years while you were single? Because you don't feed yourself. Like. You like your life. Right. Massive problem solver, zero caretaking skills. Right. So how did you come upon your genius that you are inside of your coaching space? Cause I love, you are just so, I mean your podcast title is obviously just probably not ready yet, like question mark, exclamation mark. And you are so. Quick, you are so connected, you are just so there in a very beautiful and non-intrusive way. And I see that as that, I can see that if you were a delinquent, like, oh, you had to be scrappy, right? Like you had to be... Oh, well, here's the other thing. So if I really look back, how did I get here? One, I absolutely believe if you look at strength finders, if you look at Myers-Briggs, if you look at DISC, you know, like that, who I am personality-wise, right? We finally figured out, Erin can do these three things really well, and Erin doesn't touch anything. Like. Part of it is figuring out what you suck at and stop doing it. Like, seriously, I don't touch the calendar. Why? Because I double book myself. It's really, so I have this amazing, amazing person I've known for 20 years, who is the best ducks in a row person I've ever seen, who puts my life in a whoa, right? Like, I don't touch that. But truthfully, when I really look at my background, what were some key factors? So number one, which I didn't do, but I was the receiver of, I had one, two, three, four, I had four life-saving surgeries before I was six. So I had three surgeries before I was two years old, due to being born with birth defects. And then I had a, I have 110 stitches in my face, I got bit by a dog when I was five. I'm five feet tall. This was a great day. And you can imagine how little I was at five. Oh, geez Louise. Just an accident, right? So if you put those scenarios together, what my mom did in each of those scenarios was not take the advice of the first doctor who said, this is what we do. And instead took control of the situation to find out what was the best option for her child. And if that meant in 1970, mind you. Saying no to a doctor, wait, let's do this instead, right? So meanwhile, if the original doctor got his way, I would have never made it past 48 hours old. If the emergency room attendee, surgeon, whatever the right title is, got his way, I would have been horribly scarred instead of the fact that nobody can tell I even had half my face ripped off. Yeah. So the thing that I know that started then and then has continued through my life is that if you don't make decisions for you, people who are not necessarily vested in you get to make those decisions. Doesn't make them wrong, doesn't make them bad, but they might not have the same priorities as you, the doctors, the lawyers, the government. So if you don't take that personal responsibility and create for yourself whatever it is that you want, you are basically living on the leftovers of somebody else's decision-making. So that started for me at a very young age. Now combine that with a juvenile delinquent upbringing and being five feet tall and 92 pounds soaking wet, if the shit was gonna hit the fan, I was gonna be the one that was hurt, because I was just physically smaller. So what did I do? I became very, very good at reading people. I became very, very good at predicting where it was all gonna go bad and who was gonna be involved. Mm hmm. And what I then had to do to maneuver that, because I did choose to live in that world. Right? I chose my brother did not two years apart. My brother did not live in that world. He was a swimmer, like, so we're not talking about people who are trapped in a situation. Right? Right. We're not talking about that. We're talking about Aaron's brilliant choices as a teenager. But I learned how to read people. I also in the 70s and 80s went to public school in Chicago during the immigration waves. And so I, my brother and I counted once, we went to grammar school in high school with people from 22 different countries, nobody who spoke English. And what you really, really learn is how to communicate with everybody and that people just people. We learned that at a very young age, that everybody is fine. Whoever they are, whatever they are, people have fear of the unknown. We were so immersed in unknown, in a good way, that I don't have, that just never became a thing. The unknown became the norm. different became the norm. Because everybody was so different. And you're kids, so if you want to play with each other, you just figure out. Yeah. Right? So we had that. And then if you combine taking the next step, I have a journalism degree. So the idea of communicating with intent is very big for me. Communicating with intent, my MBA that I eventually got is in marketing and executive leadership. Communicating with intent, asking questions, listening to what's going on, listening to what people are saying, listening to what they're not saying, watching their body language versus what they're saying. Like when you put all this stuff together and add to it the fact that I love learning about people. I love the differences. I love why they do what they do. Like zero judgment, zero judgment, massive curiosity. Spicer in this podcast! Right, like, how interesting is it that, like even myself, right? How interesting is it that when you asked a question, I went here instead of there? Yeah. And so I think when you combine all of that with... The business experience that I have. I'll add one more thing. I've also spent a lot of money and time and effort to be able to look you in the eye and say, hey, I'm good at this thing. I put in the work. I can get up on stage in front of a thousand people and have the time of my life. I can barely survive the introduction. Or they're reading your bio. It's so awkward. I know, there's so many good things about me. It's so awkward. You sound so terrible. Right, once we get past that point, I'm fine. So, right, but I've put in the effort to be able to say that's part of, if I'm gonna serve, I have to be able to handle that. Yeah. Right, if I'm gonna serve the way I wanna serve, if I'm gonna grow and have the business I want and help the people I want, guess what? We gotta do some, that's part of it. So we're gonna do some work on that. But I think when you combine all of those things, And I also seem to have a inherent feeling of urgency. Not panic and manic, which I can also manifest, but urgency. Like I have long, long said, we get one turn at this. I refuse to waste mine. And I think it's because of all the life-threatening challenges that I had. Maybe that, I don't know, maybe it's a little obvious where that came from now that I say it out loud. I don't know. I don't know. But I love that there's so many pieces of that that have been talked about in different ways on this podcast already. And I love that because it just shows us it doesn't take a lot to learn more, to be more, to do more. And you've talked about it several times. It's something I talk about a lot. It's awareness and observation first. Oh yeah. You have to be able to not only be aware of yourself, which is why I love utilizing human design, but also aware of what is going on. You don't have to marinate in it because there's a lot of fuckery going on. I mean, come on now. Like we would all be. And I think that's the problem. I think, unfortunately, the consensus is being a victim, is now a badge of honor. Blaming somebody else is now the norm. And what it does, and truthfully, just like in a business, just like in a family, just like in the government, culture rolls down, right? So we've had, and this is not like a political, this is on both sides, this is pervasive. When you have a top-down structure that normalizes blame, normalizes being mean, as... Acceptable, normalizes victimhood instead of personal responsibility on any side, whatever it is, the rest of the people think it's fine. And then you have social media, which amplifies voices that have no right to be amplified. And as much as like in this conversation, you and I can say from a conscious standpoint, that's not how I feel. That's not what I believe. The truth of the matter is, that's not how neuroscience works. It's not how neuroscience works. Neuroscience, like the way that your brain works, is you have those great conscious thoughts, and you know this, that choose intentionally what you want to say and what you want to believe, but your subconscious is a sponge with no filter. And so if you're immersed in this, your subconscious just accepts it as truth, which means you're up against neuroscience to not behave this way. You're literally up against your own brain to not buy in to the. Shit show. Yeah, you have to consciously ask questions and listen and take action. It's a conscious effort, 100%. It's an ongoing conscious effort. It requires vigilance. It requires like right now, I am personally on a hiatus. I noticed myself getting really, really bad because I use social media for my business, I do my thing, I interact with people I choose, and then I leave. I have to watch the news in a couple days and I won't, right? It was seeping in to the point where even someone with a practiced vigilance, I, couldn't, it was affecting my feelings. You need to take your breaks. Yeah. And so I put this under the category of give yourself a break, but don't let yourself off the hook. Right, like we're up against chemistry and neuroscience, right? So beating yourself up, making yourself wrong for not being perfect, that doesn't help. But that doesn't mean we get to let ourselves off the hook. Yeah. I love that you said that because it's so beautiful. I always say you should, you know, shut off before you shut down. Yeah. You need to just, if you need a moment. I missed, I missed it this last time. I did not catch it soon enough. Well, now you know, like everything comes a perfect time. That could have happened a week sooner and prevented a whole lot of problems. Well, you're welcome. But it is that as like, we are multi passionate humans. And with that multi passions, we are still only one person with one set of energy with one set of boundaries, what like we only can really do so much. And that's why it is so I feel and I'm pretty sure you're at the same mindset. That's why having these conversations and rallying the collective we can take up where the other person just needs to take a step to the side. Or to your point even further, if we suck at it, don't even do it at all and let support others who have those strengths. Find your wheelhouse. Because yeah, you could go crazy with all this. And I had to do the same thing a couple weeks ago. I just had to. I had Great British Baking Show on in the background all week. And I just did my stuff in my business. I spent time with my family. And there's still things ruminating in the background in my brain, like you said. But I needed to take that conscious decision to step to the side and just shut off for a minute so then when I am ready to, I can see where my strengths lie, what is it the time, the energy that I have to do because it's not solely on me, it's not solely on you, it's not solely on a single person. It is a collective conscious action, listening, questioning, and that is, again, the main premise of why I wanted to have this podcast is so people could have the time to listen, not necessarily have to engage right away, but have these opportunities to hear these conversations from different people, from different lives, from different cultures, from all these things, and go, okay, so I've seen and heard this now several times, what is now the action step that I wanna do because I now know this information? Yes. Right? And that's the big difference, is the action. Like, you probably not understand. I just come off, we're recording this, I've just come off doing a week-long live event in my business. Education-based marketing is my favorite thing. And every single day I said, here's what happens. 99% of people will take in information. They'll come to an event for their business. They'll listen to a podcast. They'll read a book. And only 1% of people will take a different action based on that information. Because, again, we're in a world where we have a lot of data. You know, give yourself a break, but don't let yourself off the hook. I also call it And we have a lot of data that we can use to make decisions. Not your, it's not your fault, but it is your problem. And we have a lot of data that we can use to make decisions. I love that too. I should go in a t-shirt. Like it's not my fault that this is, you know, habits and ruts in our brain that keep us in a pattern are hard to break. So can you do something different with the information? Can you do something at all with the new information? Can you, and one of my favorite things to to do when I'm in a mode like I'm currently in is really not just shut out what's not helping me, but immerse myself in what I need instead. Because the universe is a vacuum, so it's not really enough to just tune everything out. What are you gonna replace it with? Yeah, ooh, that's good. And it can't only be escapism information. I'm a big fan, by the way, don't get me wrong, vampire. We all know. Yeah, yeah, Swaft and Dylan, you know. I finally got into ACOTAR. Here's what happened. So 15 years ago, I got my MBA. 15 years ago? 37, 47. Yeah, 15 years ago. Journalism degree, not math. Years ago, I got my MBA while I was still in corporate. And so I was traveling for work. I had a C-suite level corporate job. And I was getting an MBA. I was exhausted. And so during that time, I turned off any access or interest in anything except lowest common denominator low-brow entertainment. Love it. Because I couldn't handle it. I stopped watching any dramas that made me sad. I don't watch reality TV that being mean to each other is the premise for the show. I don't watch military movies where everybody's getting killed. Like, I stopped watching award-winning shows because it was just too much. And all I watch is senseless violence in Marvel Comics. OK? Nice. There's good versus evil. Yeah. Harry Potter. Yeah. Right? Yeah. I never got back to the higher level. For 15 years, I don't live in that chaos anymore. I don't either. Somehow, somehow the books I choose, I'm not reading the classics, right? Like somehow the entertainment I choose to immerse myself in, like if you were to have me do a Buzzfeed question, what are they quiz? I'm basically a 14 year old boy. I was just telling my partner the exact same thing. I was like, you do realize you're in a relationship with a person who has a brain of a 14-year-old boy. I said those legit words. I love 14-year-old boy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. Because it's like, you have to find those releases. And I have to say, especially during COVID, when I had my son home, and all of a sudden I was his OT, and his speech therapist, and his, I mean, I was everything. And I was losing my ever-loving mind. I didn't know that at the time until he finally back to school. And I had a literal crash for like two months. But it's that same thing of like, I don't watch like my friends laugh at me. So like what's new on television? Like, I don't know. I rewatch. Doctor Who, Great British Breaking Show, New Girl. Oh, you're I mean, there's like, I watch. I know that it's right. I watch NCIS. I watch Marvel movies. And I watch Big Bang Theory. Yeah. And that's probably 90%. Yeah. Oh, and HGTV. I watch some of the home shows. Yeah. But that's it. Yeah, because that's all I have the capacity for. I couldn't tell you, oh, and by the way, for all of the NCIS, I'm at least three years behind. So, what do you want to do? Right. Three years. That's still a lot, huh? I don't watch anything that's still a lot anymore. Oh wait, you're gonna start a new show. Yeah. Hey friends, liking the episode? Pretty epic, isn't it? Well, guess what? This episode and all others have been made possible by financial support and contributions, from listeners like you. So if you would like to continuously hear how these epic humans are more than just, go ahead and head over to our GoFundMe and make a contribution. Cool? All right, let's get back to the magic. You've got to find those releases. Book-wise, I'm a huge book worm. I'm usually reading two books at a time because in my morning, it's my meditation, personal development, business development to get me in the mindset of, I am going to be profitable today. In the evenings and the weekends, I just started ACOTAR, A Corps of Thorns and Roses. And Zara J. Mass, I'm reading mass series or it's something sci-fi, fantasy, smut-filled, to be perfectly honest. So since I know you love that, I'm gonna share something. I have a client who is a urban fantasy author. So one of the things I said to her once was, I've never thought the rules applied to me. I've never felt any, this is what you're supposed to do, clearly as a juvenile delinquent, right? Like this has never been a thing. I don't know, like here's, I take absolutely full personal responsibility, but I also don't think any of the norms apply to, me. And so she loved that. So there's a character coming up kind of werewolf book. Very excited about that. Tell me when it comes out. I will read it. I don't think the rules apply to me. Put that on a CD. And it's like, it's those non traditional ways, right? Like it's when you really do honor, wherever you came from or who you are, whatever title identifier. And you find the bits that aren't out of trauma or response or rebellion, but really just what is coming from you. And you not only play with those and stick with those, but expand on those. One of the best ways I ever heard that described, I'm gonna screw this up, but find out what you do best and exploit it in service to others. Ooh. Whatever it is that you do best, exploit that in service to others. That's one of my mentors said that to me. Like that was his thing. It's so true. Yeah. What does that quote do for you when you repeat that to yourself? Like how do you utilize it? How do you use that for yourself? Okay, so I, two things. Number one, I'm growing a business. Number two, I teach other people how to grow a business. So what it really reminds me of is, one of the biggest mistakes I watch business owners make confusing the marketplace. The marketplace doesn't know what you do. The marketplace doesn't know what you do. So all these stupid multiple streams of income, yeah, how the hell do you market that? You can have two if they're businesses and everything else should be. Now, real estate, investments, yes. Passive income, great. But if you're trying to brand build, stop confusing the marketplace. Or figure out, and this is what I help people do, figure out what the umbrella is so that you can talk about it in a way Not confusing. Okay, fine. Right. Listen to that. Part, you know, it's two parts to me. It's three parts. What am I good at? What am I good at I? Can't help but when someone starts talking about their business My number one strength finder is like it goes strategic thinking visionary. No visionary strategic thinking learner, Mm-hmm. I can't stop my brain from going. No just put this here put this here say this this way this boom go like yeah, That's how that works. So yeah, I'm really good at it because I can't not do it, right? I don't have to cry. That's just how it works. So what am I good at? There's two sides. Don't do the crap You're not good at doing and own the shit out of what you are good at doing, And too many people get lost in between there. They're spending a lot of time on stuff. They're not good at and they're also not, Taking credit for what they are good at. Mm-hmm. There's both sides of that. So number one the big piece of that is is stop doing the shit you're not good at doing and own the crap out of what you are good at. And number two, exploit it. Get it out there. Get it out there. Like, again, with the business building as an example, because that's my world, people seriously underestimate the amount of activity that has to happen to create brand awareness. There's a lot that goes into it, a lot of action that has to be taken, a lot of consistency, or a lot of decisions. Yeah, a lot of decisions. And number three, oh my God, in service to others. Yeah. In service to others, what is the value you bring? Yeah. What is the value you bring? Abundance mindset, don't be hesitant to give away so much of it, knowing that the right people will become your clients because of that. Yeah. It's probably one of the things that I love about the self-improvement journey part of entrepreneur world is the people who really have immersed themselves in self-improvement and also play in the entrepreneurial space, to me, are the best collaboration over competition people. Which just opens, you know, when the waters go up, all ships rise type of thing. Like, that has been like my secret surprise entrepreneurial world bonus. Like, ooh, didn't see that coming. That's awesome. You I love all that. Especially just own the shit that you're good at. And to kind of put a little bit more of my verbiage behind it or something or to add to it is yes, take what you're strong at and use those strengths and however you see fit to get your message out there. Like there is no... I was having a conversation with a client of mine who is so brilliant, love working with him and his business partner. And he is struggling with social media because I mean, through his human design, he's a generator, he's neurodiverse. So finally, I was like, then don't, he's like, oh, that's what I said. And I was like, so let's, I know, and I was like, he's like, I'm just posting random shit. I'm like, that's great. Random shit's still you, they're still getting to know you. But I was just saying, if that's how you feel comfortable, yeah, in Instagram, then just do what you want to do in Instagram. I was like, so let's explore other ways. Because he loves to respond, because that's the strategy of a generator. Then I was like, how about podcasts? What have you been on podcasts and just talked about? because then it's all the things. And he was so, like, the level of stress that went down so quickly just with those, not only that permission, but that insight of fuck the rest. Like, this is- This is what I have been, it's funny that you say this, because this is what I've been screaming from the rooftops. This is why insta-tactics don't work. Too many people, because they don't know better, not because they suck, because they don't know better, they buy into a tactic to grow their business. Because someone is good at marketing that tactic, okay, fine, that's their job, they're not wrong. The tactic, by the way, is also not wrong. They all work. They all work. Yeah. But if you haven't done the strategy work first, does this tactic make sense for you? Do you know enough about yourself to make it work? Do you know enough about your business? Is your business ready for this tactic? It's the reason One Funnel Away is a lie Because if you haven't done the work to make the funnel work, and most people haven't done that work, then it's not going to work for you. And what happens, not only do you spend a lot of money you didn't have to spend, but now you feel like a failure. Yes. Now you feel like a failure because this brilliant, easy, peasy tactic, you're the only one, this is what we tell ourselves, you're the only one who couldn't make it work. And that's strategy over tactics every time. Your unique goal, your unique business, your unique strength, now choose the tactic. Exactly. It all comes from you. I say this all the time, like you have everything inside of you to answer the call of your soul. You just have to find it. And it's having spaces like with, you know, more tactical, quote, unquote, strategic, quote, unquote, spaces with you. Other spaces where they, you know, kind of more of that emotional, you know, social, like it's combining all of those and utilizing all of those equally. Because it is, it's like, it's that listening, it's that recognition. It's that awareness and the action. So what now now that you have this awareness, what is the first thing and I'm, sure you don't say this either. And I never say this, like, we're not gonna tear down your entire business. God, no, do anything wrong. It's what are the little things you're shifting? Exactly. Yeah. So tiny. I'll give you a perfect I'll give you an example because I'm currently so frickin excited for this client. Like you can't even imagine. So I and I can use his name because he's come online and shared this with with people. So Ed does leadership and employee engagement training. And he's fit for blue collar for manufacturing, like he that's the world he comes out of, he comes off the floor in the shop. And he's great at it. He has the experience, the education, the leadership skills, like he's really, really, really good at it. But he had never owned a business. And when I met him, he had a series of I think he had like 26 workshops that clients could pick from to help with employee engagement. Over about a year and a half of him and I knowing each other and just touching base. He got it whittled down to 16. And we're getting there. Plastic, like he's such a great guy. Yeah, he was getting business. But he would present the offer as here's 16 workshops that you can pick from. Hmm. So we always stayed in contact. And finally, he writes back to me goes, Okay, I'm ready. And I'm going ready for what? What are we talking about? And so we did this whole like full day VIP day for him. And this is what we ended up doing. We talked about thought leader versus vendor marketing. And so we took what he was already fantastic at. And we took the workshops that he already had. And I asked him, what are the three most important workshops? What are the three most important workshops you have? And he goes, well, I would do them this way, this way. Okay, so one, two, three, and we added a fourth add on. And then you also had this system, this app-based system, because these manufacturing, they're on the floor, they don't have time to, they can't leave and go to a seminar. This app-based system for engagement. And we literally put together three workshops in this order for leadership. A fourth as an add-on or a bonus he could add, and a six to nine months of follow-up with this app-based engagement to track how it's all working. And wait, this is the magic part. Instead of asking the client, which of these do you want? We created a year-long program for them. And then he showed me his statistic that he had sourced from the labor department, that the cost of a disengaged employee in a manufacturing environment is $25,000. Wow. And so we took his label, Ed, Employee Engagement and Leadership Training, And instead, we created a year-long program with three or four workshops and six to nine months of follow-up. And we renamed the way he talked about his business for, you know, mitigating the number one risk to your business, colon, a disengaged employee. And guess how much the package cost?$25,000. For the cost of one disengaged employee, we can mitigate the risk to your business. And so now he's selling $25,000 packages instead of $2,500 package. Now he's walking in and saying, this is how you fix this. Not, hey, I'm back here. How can I help you? And to your point, this is not, we changed nothing about his business. He's fantastic at what he does. I didn't say your workshop. He had it all. We just had to move the pieces around from a sales and marketing strategy. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, again, going back to what you said of honoring your strengths and shit, what was the quote again? Figure out what you do best and exploit it in service to others. There you go. So that valuable exploitation of what you already know to be true, your strengths. I do, you know, the exact same with my clients as well as they usually come at me with just, So many ideas and these packages that are so overwhelming. I'm like, not only are you overwhelming yourself, you're overwhelming your person that you are here to alleviate that stress. Why would you start that off with overwhelming what it is? Horrible truth about that, that comes from two sides. Truthfully, most of the time, one, we just don't know better. Some people just don't know better. They think they have to do that. And it comes from a place of insecurity, But it comes from this insecurity where people are trying to prove they're smart enough. You're unworth it, let me show you how much I know. So the sad part is it comes from, when we create these complicated, complicated, complicated programs where we're giving everything, everything and the kitchen sink, it usually comes from the fact that we're insecure about how much we know. So we wanna prove that we have all this knowledge. Some people are doing that, not realizing it, totally get that, but. If the person you're trying to help can't receive the information, then you're not actually being of service. And I didn't want to flip that to people who are listening that are not business owners. If you're doing that with your time and energy to prove that you are the best friend or the go-to person and overcompensating, so you feel seeing her recognized within a friend group or relationship, that's the exact same thing. It's a boundary, right? It's a boundary from there. Yeah. If I have a boundary and say no, they won't love me anymore. Yeah. And nobody likes that. And it's not fun. No, but it is. But when you do come from a place of your strengths, your boundaries, yeah, it still stings. But you also are like, you know what? Lesson release. I know that I've got this. I've got that. You're cool. You're cool. Fuck you. I'm out kind of deal. And you really do have less of a recovery time. Oh my God. Yeah. Thank you for saying that. Thank you for saying that. You're welcome. Because I think one of the things that's really, really, really, you know, we had some of these harder conversations about you have to be an observer and this is how you're up against neuroscience. So to kind of put a bow on that. Or a period, however, whichever is the right cliche. I'm turning into my mother, I can't remember. It's so brittle. Oh my God. So, right, we said it's not your fault, but it is your problem. Give yourself a break, but don't let yourself off the hook. The truth of the matter is none of this is fixable. It just is. This is ongoing. This is the way your brain works. This is the way humans think. It doesn't stop happening. So the trick is faster catch, faster recovery. Right? And we talked about how you have to stay vigilant about it because this is how, this is neuroscience. This is the way brains work. This is what we're up against we're trying to leap forward and be the best person and live our best life and be of service. So just know that when you have a setback. You're not bad or wrong or broken. That is how it works. The trick is to not prevent it because you can't. The trick is can you catch it faster? Can you recover faster? What used to throw you for a year, can it throw you for a month? Can it throw you for a week? Can it throw you for a day? Can it throw you for a moment? Because it's still going to happen, which is fine. It's the awareness. It's that cyclical movement. Everything comes in cycles. Everything comes in seasons. As humans, we are consistently, whether we at which I hope we all are, but whether we're consciously making decisions to better ourselves or not, we are changing and growing and learning just by, you know, assimilation on its own of just subconsciously, consciously all of the things. So why would you not be a participant in that and have more awareness? And okay, I know that I am like the cat's pajamas in this. So I'm going to do this. I know I suck toes on this. So I'm just not going to do it, instead of trying to be like, well, if I'm just a little bit good at it, you're taking away energy from what you could just be fully magical in and create that much more ease and flow in spaces that you have more, quote unquote, control on. Because you know what, sister, we don't have a lot. So we might as well really marinate in the spaces where we do. And I say that a lot. I ask myself in my business a lot. And even in my relationship with Mike, like the dividing and conquering of shit that has to happen in the house. I'm really good at cleaning. I love it. I suck. I have, you know, I love it. I have not made a meal in at least eight years. Yeah. Can't do it. I took a picture the other day. I do make my own breakfast and lunch, but that's not really a meal. That's like food, right? Random pieces of food. Actually, a meal. It's just food items that get eaten at the same time. And I just had a laugh because I took a picture and put on Facebook why Aaron doesn't cook of a beautiful bowl and a beautiful carton of eggs and an egg open on the counter. Welcome to my life. There's a reason I don't do that. Yeah. Like, in your business, in your world, if you are, and it's not just what you like to, like, if you're not the greatest at it. Yeah. Let the person who is the greatest at it. Yeah. Do the thing. Yeah. Erin, this could probably be like a four hour long conversation, so which means we definitely need to have you back, But I just have loved so much of this from where we started of how you're more than just a juvenile delinquent and how that has served you, how that has shaped you, how that continues to support you. And I mean, so many takeaways. I think we should just have like merch just from this episode, because so many great ones. Wait, wait, wait, my graphic designer, we were in a team meeting and I said something and because she's skilled this way, she literally took a sweatshirt and like pretended to make a sweatshirt. And it was, you know, put it in the Zoom chat, and it was, your problems are above my pay grade. I said that to some of them, like, like I'm a business and success mindset coach. I'm not a psychotherapist, right? I know where my, right? Your problems, in the loveliest way possible, your problems are above my pay grade. I love it. And it's boundaries, all back to boundaries, awareness and stick to what you're good at. Oh my gosh, is there anything else? I mean, you've already shared so many beautiful things. Is there anything else that you would like to share with our listeners as we wrap up our time together today? That it's all possible. You know, I think one of the things that, you know, this conversation was all about why it's hard, but what we're up against, but I do want to leave with this idea that you literally can create whatever. Like in the beginning, when you start taking on personal responsibility as a driving force in your world, it feels like a burden. And when you really learn about it, and you really embrace it, because that is what we're talking about, making the decisions, choosing what you're doing, choosing how you're thinking, that all boils down to what I call next level personal responsibility. And so in the beginning, because I've been there, it feels like a burden, but if you really dig in, it becomes the most powerful thing. Like you, it's so freeing. I know that I can do and have and create whatever I want. I just need to decide, right? I just need to decide. And then. Expose myself to the help, the knowledge, the work that gets me there, and then not give up. Have those 12 as a dissociation, but don't give up. Go into vampires and fairy smut, you'll be come back, you'll be fine. Oh, Erin, this is amazing. Listeners, everything that you need to know to respectfully stalk Erin, is going to be in the show notes, including her fantastic podcast, Ready Yet, and everything else. So please head over there. We're not hiding, right? We're not hiding. Not at all. You are out and proud in the world, my love. But thank you again, Erin, so much for just bringing, you and your fire and your authenticity. I mean, so many- Too much coffee. No. Shh, don't talk. Always. Yeah, that's okay. I can't help it. I have no dimmer switch. Oh, I don't either. I am either like this or I'm asleep. No middle ground. Oh my God, I love it. Music. Once again, thank you so much for listening to this epic episode. All of the resources and links connected to it will be in our show notes. Our show notes located on our website more than just bus If you liked this episode, which I would be shocked if you did not go ahead and hit that like, subscribe, review and share. Also remember that this episode and all others have been made possible by financial contributions and support from listeners like you. So if you would like to hear more stories of how epic humans are more than just pop on over to our GoFundMe and make a contribution. Also don't forget to to follow us on Instagram at more than just podcasts. Thanks, again. See you next time. Music.