More Than Just: Conversations with Misfits, Entrepreneurs and Change-makers

More Than Just a Leadership and Career Coach — with Benjamin Ritter

• Mel McSherry • Season 1 • Episode 10

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This week, I’m joined by my friend Benjamin Ritter, Leadership and Career Coach for senior leadership professionals. We discuss his journey from odd jobs to professional fulfillment and building the life you truly want.

We also discuss:

  • The fallacy of productivity
  • Saying no as an imperative skill in work and life
  • Entrepreneurial things we learn (or don’t) from our parents
  • The impact of re-reading
  • How goals are sometimes not the goal


Links & resources:


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🙌 This podcast is supported by listeners like you! If you enjoyed this episode, we'd appreciate it if you could make a donation of any amount at this link. You rock!

Hey I'm TJ listener are you a solopreneur who knows doing it all yourself won't get you to that next level, well before we start this epic episode let me tell you about our amazing sponsor my VA rocks my VA rocks is a virtual assistant agency that pairs you with the help you desperately need, they're wildly talented virtual assistants can pretty much do it all, from sales support grant writing speaker Outreach bookkeeping to graphic design copywriting and of course those administrative tasks we all dread, my VA rocks has the perfect support for you, and honestly I have had several clients hire va's from my V8 rocks and I have personally not only seen their business exponentially grow faster but I've also been able to see them fully step into their passion and have this renewed sense of excitement and their business because no longer are they overwhelmed by all the things that they think they need to do they can fully just do what they want to do to create the business that they desire. So you want to see how my VA rocks can support you will head over to their website at my VA dot rocks to book a complimentary consultation call, also don't forget to follow them on Instagram at my VA rocks all right let's get to it. Welcome to More Than Just I'm your host Mel mcsherry on this podcast we share how we are more than just descriptors and titles that identify us and our lives our businesses and our. In the safe common room space you'll hear stories of success and Lessons Learned From Myself and other Misfits entrepreneurs and change makers. My intention is to inform connect and expand our knowledge, so we can be mentally emotionally and financially profitable as we create the change we desire my promise is that from each episode you'll take away not only inspiration and a connection to someone you never knew before, but also the encouragement the action steps and the support so you can create. Music. Hello hello everybody Welcome once again to more than just a Mel mcsherry here with yet another amazing human that I am once again so excited to share space with today we have the phenomenal Benjamin Ritter dr. Benjamin Ritter, and I met Benjamin a while ago on his podcast that's actually trying to think about this of how I even found your pockets I think I randomly applied to it. Had a great time he then invited me to one of his amazing events that he, used to host here in Chicago when he was located here and since then we've just stayed friends in a connected on so many levels which is why I'm excited for him to be on this show because I already know how he has so many different. Nuances and streaks and you know all these things because not only have we created such a really great business relationship or we, voice memo each other just brain dumps of bullshit and other person's perspective but we've connected on our love for sci-fi fantasy novels or travel for all these things so thank you so much for being here Benjamin I am so happy to have you here I'm incredibly excited to be here our origin story is a lot of fun, and I actually kind of want to Now find that initial email on where we came from and how we connected because it is such a natural organic development of a relationship from, you're giving value I'm giving value you're giving value I'm getting value we just enjoy each other's company so it's. And it's yeah so beautiful about it is that it's so value aligned not just with our professional life but our personal life and I think it's such a great merger of of I mean my interests like I'm incredibly value our friendship and, kind of little sad but I moved away a little bit so I hopefully you come down to Austin or I come back and we can be in person but luckily we have these little remote chats to exactly and it's so, cool and for those who are listening and if you don't have a business buddy. Find what and I'm not it's they're hard to find it's kind of making friends when you're adults right like how do you even try to vet people out but even if. I always say that the best way to find a business buddy it's just find somebody like you said that has the same morals same interests and values and, neither of you are coming out of an angle of 0 how can I spin this to where they want to work with me like when we ask for each other's advice we know that there are a lot of things we have different perspectives on and that's why I like it because you always give me that kind of other angle that I don't necessarily see things that I hope I do the same and that's definitely been one of the cool things about a relationship is that, I can come to you with a problem with business or even just in general or just come to you in general and I know that your support is valuable and, not doesn't have to do anything with any kind of angle or context or checklist right of like oh well I gave this to you so now you need to you know pay me back, by the way Becky Eldersburg I asked Becky for recommendations for my speaking event and Leadership. And that led her to introduce you and that let me to reach out to you and then I add L speakers before the event on my podcast. So that was that was the connection as a source May 15th 2018 yeah holy crap. Well thank you Becky for creating such a great such a great so I would love to know. What is your main title or descriptor and how are you more than just that well I call myself a leadership and career coach. Depending on who I'm talking to you as a leadership executive and career coach. I'm also the head of talent so I'm building a talent development department at a life sciences company in California but I'm, you know what I do for a living is just a conduit for my values so I talked a lot of people about goal-setting and goals and what's important about them and it's not because you want to achieve those goals that's not what's important about them it's the values you receive from trying to achieve them. So for me personally who am I I'm someone that cares deeply about health so the mental emotional physical and spiritual aspects of them and someone that, loves to connect and to help others grow and to explore into Adventure through life and so everything that I have done in my life aligns with those but those Come Those pillars really, hmm what would you say is what has been your biggest, Adventure so far as I know that you love to travel you travel a ton and I know it's very important to you and isn't necessarily have to be travel but of all of the things that you have gone through with your personal professional Journey, what do you think was kind of that first big adventure where you just went oh there that that's that's more of what I'm looking for what was the most telling for you I guess. So I've kind of a varied past I've probably worked every on job you can imagine I've Built Homes you know drained sewers I flipped Burgers I. Dressed up in costume. In costumes to promote movies one of them was a zombie went around downtown Chicago scaring people as a zombie for 28 Weeks Later I've worked in health policy I've worked in marketing and worked in the ball bearing industry. Let's see what else I've been a dating coach other than a yeah I. I have a cat who likes to be in the podcast so she's in video right now I've you know I've been the guy that walks people on stage during conferences, so it's like literally had a lot of many many odd jobs in my past and so when you ask me like what's the thing that led me to the thing. I'd say it wasn't really an event more so feeling you know I kind of was. I was feeling pretty resentful in my professional career as a Healthcare Executive at the time. And I was running a business that ain't really feel aligned to either and so all these jobs didn't really feel like anything that I really chose or anything that I really wanted for my future. And when I'm sitting in a negative emotion I'm not someone to sit in it I'm someone that try to solve it. And that led me to really doing a hard audit of what my strengths are what challenges I wanted to face in the future what type of life I wanted. And that led me down the path of professional development and professional fulfillment. Now you know I said what type of life I wanted because that was really kind of where I've you know how I've built what I have built, it doesn't run honestly I don't know if I'm going to be doing what I'm doing now if it doesn't lead me to have the lifestyle that I want so the money the time the relationships the values that I get to you know to live true too, of those change for some reason by what I'm doing then I'm going to change what I do it's a complete lack of ego attachment to the things that I've built, for example I decided you know just a week and a half ago we had cleared off three four days on my calendar just went to Guatemala, and that's the type of stuff that I want to do more of and that's the type of stuff that I love nice you know I tried actually will wake up early I'll do a little bit of work and sometimes I won't actually go back to work until noon because I'm running or I'm working out or I'm going to yoga, and it's the type of life that I want to live now instead of waiting to try to create that life later on, mmm I have you always been that person first like have you always put what you want and how you want to use your time, first or was that something that you have slowly developed through time and experience and age well that's a good question because if you ask anyone in my life. If they think I live like that they probably would say no. I've always had three or four jobs always had multiple streams of income always seem to probably be working sometimes I am but sometimes I'm not but like for example you know during my. As in healthcare it was going to complete my doctorate full-time and working at the bar pretty much you know three or four days a week and then I'll sort of building a business. So it was there's not a lot of there wasn't as much time but I think that when push comes to shove I will prioritize. Like that trip it just depends on Umi I have to personally hold myself accountable to make the space to plan those types of things to say. Okay Ben you just had three really packed days in your stress because of it that's not the type of life that you want to live how can you change next week. Can you prevent the week after and I think last time we spoke I even was like yeah I've just let my calendar get out of hand and that's not acceptable. Yeah that's that's kind of where I'm personally, you know it's just holding myself accountable to that and I'd say how I always been like it I think I've always consciously chose where I wanted to spend my time. But I also never really like to just having time so I think I've changed a lot in that sense mmm what about howdy why do you think that's changed like what is the importance of for you of Time Versus production. Because I think when we first met you. Productivity was at and Moss and it's not still personal or big to you but productivity first time I met you I felt was really very important to you, whereas now if I met you now I'd be like oh he's one of those guys is like no person first like self-care first and then productivity always, follows productivity is a tough word like what does it mean to be productive alright let's say that. Everything always gets done so I think it's just knowledge of and I think over the years has become easier to realize everything will always get done there always be more to do. And the things that fulfill you are never supposed to be complete because they're the things that fulfill you and if they were completed then they wouldn't anymore they wouldn't you would have access to it. I think that understanding as well as you know what do you care about on your deathbed it's just like you care about that I spend time with the people that I love that I create community that I have Adventure that explore, not that I work enough that I send that email and at the same time I think I've also gotten really really really good, at doing the things that matter and so I think a couple of years ago I shared this with you I named my year Crack the Code which is what are the things that move the needle like if I worked if I could only work two hours a day, what is it that I have to do to continue making the money that I'm making to have the friends that I have you know like all those types of things and I think I just got really clear on that yeah. So if that and it sounds like I get where you're coming from right because you and I are very similar in the fact of. But I comfortable with assessing ourselves we're very comfortable I may be given comfortable isn't the right word because sometimes it can be very uncomfortable but we are we're a notorious I guess for. Coming back to our core cells right like what is important to us where have we just said yes too many times or where have we just overextended ourselves and we do our best to you know rein it back in right what would you say. To somebody who's like how the fuck did you do that like when I sit with myself all I just feel is guilt and like all the all these things I said yesterday I don't want to like what would, what would you say to them or how what would be kind of that first step for them to start kind of unraveling that fuckery well, a vision of what you want your life to be like what you want your work to be like so that would be key vision. The second piece is a lot of times we don't have the life that we want because we're operating from a place of fear. And so would be to list out what you're afraid of like I said I've always had multiple streams of income because I never want one thing to for to disappear and for me to be to not have the things I need. So other than multiple streams of income it could also just be savings or Financial Security. Or Community around you that you know is going to keep you safe so list off your fears and then start battling I'm not battling but reframing those fears attacking those fears figuring out of those fears are real if they exist or how you can create you know safety around those fears, give a vision and now you're not afraid you can then start working towards that vision and taking steps towards it such as saying no, to the things that you really don't want to do it work but have been saying yes to out of a sense of fear for your job fear of losing the relationships fear of what someone might think of you, but now you have a little bit more ability of the vision you have the clarity around what you what you want and you have the confidence because you're not as afraid to make to take those actions. Mmm I love that and assessing your fears that's that's definitely interesting why did I talk about that as well in my book she profits of, you know it's like you have the monster underneath your bed right when you're little you do you just sit there and you make it bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger it's just this one little fear that started and the more that you ruminate on it and the more that you don't, put any shine any light on it it just gets scarier and scarier but then when you finally you know shine that flashlight under the bed and realize is just like a pair of fuzzy slippers, it's okay I know recognize this I have the power to do this and then all of a sudden that's been, deconstructed and something that is totally malleable almost of just like no I can't control it because we have so much more control than we give ourselves credit for, personally I know I always felt that I would do better if I molded myself over after somebody else write that, I would have an idea of what I wanted but if I saw somebody that had exactly what I wanted I would just attach myself to them I would copy paste repeat I would do all the things because I thought that's how I would get it done, and then what it didn't really turn into everything was a financially treated to it yes mentally emotionally not so much. That is that thing of like oh then how do I, right like how do I mold together I know you and I have had several conversations you would just about sales of how you know I think I was I think I was talking to when I struggling with I know my mentor told me this but I want to close it this way and it's just like this constant shift so it's, it's so true that when you do actually take time to just sit with. Not only what you want but what you don't want and what you're scared of you have full say to change your mind at any time no yes is ever. It's like a death threat like it's never something that you can't turn around and say and say no to, have you found that so sounding like no has always been a pretty easy sentence for you, again is that something that you have just always been that way or is that something that you have just gained more momentum and confidence in overtime. I think I probably built a life around the ability to say no in my in certain areas of my life and then I grew to be able to say them in all areas of my life. It is a is it a tough it's a tough word. Especially if you haven't done the work to feel really really safe with who you are and what you want to create in the world. If you're operating from a place of scarcity you're not going to be able to say no. So you have to build a life around yourself that is that has abundance or you perceive that as abundance or at least meets your needs. You know reflecting on my past have I been able to say no saying no to people has been difficult. Saying no in my personal life saying no to people in my professional life has not. Hmm mainly because I think I mmm I've always operated from this place I've never really bought into the 925 world I think you probably can. We align their based on you know my dad being entrepreneur the fact that I want to yeah 100% would be nice preneur my you know wanting to be a professional soccer player, so there's these Concepts that I think control a lot of people in their professional life such as you got to be at your desk you can't take a break you have to say yes to these projects like I never really, I just never really restrained that way so I've never I haven't really had an issue saying no there mmm. I didn't realize you and I were connected with that I didn't realize your dad was an entrepreneur as well and it is a different way of being raised and supported when you decide to also be an entrepreneur. His it's I know from my for myself I learned a lot and I've been very you know open about this to my father so it's not nothing secretive but not only did I learn you know what it's like to be a family with an entrepreneur as a breadwinner I also learned a lot of what not to do as a caregiver and as a parent, as well as an entrepreneur because it is, I grew up watching my father say yes to everything and then hearing him complain about how he said yes to everything he's so tired and you know still to this day, he still says yes to a lot of things and now it's just ingrained right that's just the way that he, as running his life and my you know as long as having my mom are good there I'm you know I support him but I definitely took a lot from that of, I don't want my son to feel that my business is more important, than ham were there any other differences just in what you learned from from watching your dad like was there any kind of what not to do that you learned from him, also my dad was an entrepreneur and my mom was full-time and they both had different stories both worked in Hospitality they met waiting tables, so it's interesting to kind of see those values in or how I've lived my career pretty much as all the little pieces of how they have but so. Let's see learn not what not to do my dad did well but didn't do as good as he could have. And part of that do too is he was see stayed with us you know when my mom worked her full-time job so he was able to create the time to work with us or talk to be with us. He brought me along which taught me so many lessons and so many skills. But what he didn't do that great is I think he didn't have or at least didn't seem like he had the broader vision of more. Probably because he also realized we didn't need it you know I grew up fine didn't have, cable or fancy meals you know Hamburger Helper and stuff we had a beautiful home and roof over our heads and I got to play soccer the 80s and 90s we don't need that crap anyway but it would be in the in the area of relationships. My dad was very good at getting it having people like him and he was a great flared but. It was very set on his way and from what I've what I saw hmm that stubbornness around what I want. Kind of did not help him write can build a business and so I think. I think that in itself may be led me to be as interested as I am intern relationships you know I have my own story and why I think that that came to be for my own lack of personal development but maybe that also played a pretty strong role. Hmm yeah it's interesting when you as you get older the more that you start really reflecting on. Relationships with you know whether that's a parent or guardian or just whoever was the Mainstay if you you know if you had one I mean stay in. Your life and it's I have a, a younger it's have a ten-year-old son is you know but maybe the audience doesn't and I have a neighbor downstairs who is 11 and walking them to school is hilarious because she is just a Chatty Cathy, and. This is totally going to segue but we're going to go with it she came out dressed like I did my freshman year of high school it's so weird to have that fashion kind of like slap you in the face, and she was asking me about you know I was like oh you know I had a similar outfit when I was when I was your age and she's like really where you Goff, and I was showing her pictures of like I had a cape like whole nine yards and out of my mouth came the exact same thing that came out of my mom's mouth when the 70s fashion came back when we were you know teenagers, and or maybe older and I'm going mad if I would have you know saved it all I you know would have been Rich because I could have sold it and thinking that same thing it's so interesting the Cycles I guess is where I'm coming with us, the cycles that come through of you don't understand how something impacts you or just, who you start becoming and regards to who you spent your most time with and so that like cycle comes back around right like being an entrepreneur. I really didn't think about the impact my the way my father ran his, several unsuccessful businesses while I was great up now he's a very successful one that he started when I was already out of the house but I never realized how much that affected me and how I and my priorities of how I really want to make sure that like I said, if my son needed me to be at something I would shift my schedule and I would you know I would be there. Was that a little bit because I was as you know a primary caregiver. Yeah but I still could have been like oh sorry I have to work like I have to make this work for my business so it's always interesting when you see those kind of Cycles come back into play of. You know who really has influenced you or even just set the tone of how you make your decisions or how you how you perceive things, I think we're like in that, we find something of we're interested in we dive in deep and I think when I became an entrepreneur I read pretty much every single book that was on the market about entrepreneurship. When I was struggling with sales I read every single book I could find on the topic of sales and ended up interviewing one of my favorite authors. Add and so as much as I can say okay maybe this is why where my bath got started or maybe this is where I've struggled or maybe this is why I believe this. I also have the mindset that I don't know the answers and I need to go find them and they need to go find the ones that can work best for my business and for me. And I think that level of openness and that level of interest and curiosity for myself has been able as been really the core reason why I've developed the beliefs that I have. You know I think yeah I talked about self-leadership I talk about living for yourself and. One of the greatest things that I can respect is especially when someone hires a coach like when I start working with someone as you took action. You could have gone gone to go try to learn it for yourself but the you knew that this is a way that is going. Give you more clarity at the end at a speed a certain level of Effectiveness and efficiency that you probably won't be able to get any other place. And I mean I did that just with Spanish class I was I was studying Spanish online and I was learning some vocabulary but I was not holding myself accountable or speaking to anyone so I signed up for a class you know. And spend a thousand bucks to go take Spanish class because it's something that I need to learn in. I think we all we all can maybe trace the certain traits and behaviors back to certain people but I'd say is that the one you want if it's not the one you want let's go change it. Yeah and find this support and it doesn't have to be all you right like you can only do so much in regards to the reading to the implementing to the study Aid. But there really is something about having that person that support whether that's a guide a coach a mentor you know inserts Title Here. That helps you really take it to that next level whether that it's consistency whether that's deeper exploration or facilitation and it's so important that yes it does start. And end with you but that journey is never a solo, gig and if you're trying to make something work and it's all on you and you feel like if you don't do it all by yourself you know you're a failure you are in my eyes you already are failing because you're not giving yourself. The beauty of support of outside resources of even just again going back to the business buddy conversation of having somebody give you a perspective, that you never would have thought of or even just the space for you, so you just vomit I love that's one of my favorite things of you know not only our relationship but, how I coach as well and I'm sure you can or guide what you know insert Insert Title here but I'm sure that's part of your connection to it to is. Having people feel safe enough, to just the I mean all of the things that I've been winding and winding and winding and their heads then I'm trying to organize it either inside of their heads or with a million different Post-it notes or apps or what have you. And to know that somebody is there not only listening and connecting with them. With this but for me my sole purpose is then to just simplify it for them to show them, how we can just take this bit by bit piece by piece and it's never going to be that like, can we do one and then two and then three it's like going to do 10 now step four looks like should be number two so we're that's what I mean number 20 that took care of four five and six let's take those off and really show them that this is a continuing, Evolution but it's never ever all up to you at any point in time. The the idea that you can learn more from others totally buy into and the power of a coach. The power of guides the power of mentors the power of friends. But hey live for yourself self-leadership so I'm sitting here saying yeah hey ultimately comes down to that chord Choice what do you want to create for yourself and I don't you're blaming other people you got to take a hard look at yourself. Because everything that you've created in your life is dependent on you you're not exactly responsible for the external outcomes but you're totally responsible for how you perceive them and how you react to them. And you know at least that's my belief and I was just sitting here and thinking about you know listening to you and also thinking about more than just. And I think you know this. I may sit and reflect and say man I I am too analytical I'm too I question everything I am sometimes nihilistic sometimes don't see the point in certain things. I you know and I sit here and go okay these traits that can bring me like I'd actually say in a group sometimes despite how joyful and optimistic I am I am super realistic, I will I will sometimes be like yeah and when I say realistic I mean sometimes that is not the best news for people. And Sarah like these are the traits though that I think have helped me as you just got yours you're describing how you work with clients. Has helped me be real with clients is help me break down what they what's going on what they need to do what they can do what they might want to do to do to change their life to be able to create what they want to create. Now that's you know those those skills have created their own issues Within Me Right the fact that I have to sometimes turn my brain to shut off I have to sometimes force myself to find Joy I have to sometimes sit back and redefine meaning it so that I can enjoy you know so I can I have to tell myself to shut my computer and go outside because eventually that's going to create a better memory than sitting you know and responding to emails. And it's not it's not just because hey you find these things you flick a switch and you're you're in this world that you want to be in it's a it's a constant decision that you have to make for yourself and, sometimes it helps and I say always helps to have someone that knows what your goals are and can help direct you towards them, because it unless it is tough I'll tell you you've trained I've been doing this for. Hello 10 years and it's like it is a constant and I was I learned personal development on my own from in. Doesn't for right so I'm doing it for a long time. It is it is a constant is a constant I wouldn't say battle the journey. Well yeah because you understand you levels of yourself right you're not reading the same well maybe you are waiting the same book but you're getting different things. From them I think sometimes we forget that you know when we set and forget it will read something will start implementing it and then we'll cut it set it and forget it. That they're still more they're like whatever resonated with us or whatever we started implementing at that time. Well always have the same. Results because you need to have that next level so it's like you need to continuously go back and say okay now is this still you know doing what it wants to do needs to do, whatever it's that piece by piece aspect of it hey friend like in the episode Pretty epic is it. Well guess what this episode and all others have been made possible by financial support and contributions from. So if you would like to continuously here how these. More than just go ahead and head over to our GoFundMe and make a contribution cool all right let's get back to the magic. Have you read the book Think and Grow Rich I have it's okay if you have it right I only bring it up because. They think in the book it talks about how when you read a book and that book specifically you should spend like a week on a page. And yeah I've I was in I was in an airplane before I was I was I was we've all been at PSI I was in an airplane before and I was I was traveling your face, in later today to write what is this thing in this this weird airplane that you're on Marvel invented but I was. I was sitting in there was a guy super talkative he had his book Think and Grow Rich and had all these little note little colorful little note things and all the pages and I talked to him about it and he said he was very use open about his not Obsession but his dedication to the book and it's the only book he reads only book and he just reads it over and over and over and over again. And I'm not that intense don't think I've actually read I don't I think I've only read one book more than once maybe twice and disease it for notes like I like use it I'll reference books but don't read them, and there's something to be said though about if something has happened in your life especially a growth stage break up a move or new job Epiphany from yourself. Wouldn't hurt to go read your favorite books, right instead of search for more information we gather more information from the same experiences because we're a different person every every second. Mmm and I know she also have those favorite books that you could just turn your brain off like the Dresden Files oh I, if you don't hear from me it's because I just I read I get lost in these books I it's actually kind of incredible how I don't care about life because I'm so immersed in in books I read I just recently read the it's by Peter Brett it's like the demon cycle series or it's what if you haven't read them off to send you the books it's. Again I just lost so many years of my life no I just I enjoy reading there's a really funny actually a really funny meme, and can I is this like a PG, podcast or is it a what do we do said fuckery like four times so let me tell you how much I notice when people swear so it's it's a it's like a it's a meme, and it's about reading and it's about LSD and let me see if I can see if I can pull it up. Why are none of my my images are well here ever realize how fucking surreal reading a book actually is you stare at marked slices of tree for hours on end hallucinating vividly, it was posted in like an LST Channel yeah but it is so true literally that's we are, when you're reading you're hallucinating you're just it's pretty nuts the think about imagining what if right and it's so funny because, I've been one of those Elder Millennials but it's subscribe to tick tock in the last two years and the things I learned on Tick-Tock I did not know this there are actual people who. Pants picture things while they're reading like they just hear the words and that's it's like the same people that don't have conversations with themselves and their heads or don't hear music in their heads like. I don't know what life would be like if I never not woke up with a song in my head or, the fact that so the Dresden Files which by Jim Butcher so one of my favorite series I read the last two books that he just came out with a serious it's not the last of the series that got but, there were moments where my partner was coming to bed and I'm just, like staring at the ceiling with the book like kind of deep breathing he's like are you okay Mike I just, I just need a moment like because the pitch was just so emotionally like oh like I have to physically close the book and put it away because the same with the Wheel of Time like I'm like oh no I need time to, to process this and then I will come back to it I am okay what if. We were able to Envision the things that we wanted in life with such with with that much emotion and ability. And so I think that's that's I would love for people to if you have some readers. Do you do you have a vision of what you want to create in your in your life that's as strong as as if you were reading it in a book I love that. That's awesome is it Citrus it's funny how. I'm sure some people would say yes when it comes to fantasies right like oh yeah I would love if I could just pop a way to Guatemala for 4 days or like wake up to my butler, we have I feel like sometimes there's this weird disconnect and I would love to hear your thoughts on this to of it's either. More thinking business it's money-driven it's but also now because of social media kind of this like Bali bathe like let's show off your toys kind of imagery or goal planning, and then with your life it's like these either it's a lot of extravagant see right I feel like there is not a lot of. One combining the both of how does your personal life and your business life whether you're an entrepreneur or in corporate how can those support each other but also. What what are those like really what does that look like to you like what is your I exercise I love to do is you know what is your ideal day of 24 hours didn't exist. And you have combination of you know personal fun stuff and work stuff you guys wrote it all down what would that look like and. Do you see that either people are kind of one or the other like either very gold measurable or. Just dream world ask without any steps to it or do you do you feel that people are starting to combine more of the two. My brain wants to go everyone's goal oriented if they if they know it or not to some people are more process-oriented than others which I think is a good distinction. Hmm so even if we are trying to work towards something we have somehow subconsciously created steps to work towards it, so even if someone isn't goal-oriented they probably are operating along some some countries guidelines. Hmm so do I think I mean there are people that are more detailed driven just like there are people that are more driven by being on time than not being on time true and it's so do I think one is better than the other and. I do not do I tend to work with people that. Are open to setting goals and taking steps towards them yes because I think it aligns with how I view the world and how I operate and how I've achieve success. So I probably not answering the question maybe in the way that you want to so maybe reframe it but I think that's that's kind of where I where I lean. And I might yeah no it's it was marked as a perspective of what. You you have seen and just either the conversations that you've had or the people that you work with I know for myself. I might the people who come to me have been so goal orientated that they lost themselves, and they're realizing that the goals are not. It's not the end-all be-all so facilitating space with them that they can really connect to who they are really what they want and what does what does that feel like look like where's that foundational you know, human design base which my audience tires has heard me talk a lot about. So I find that for myself the people that tend to be attracted to me whether that's in a business professional you know professional relationship or even just friends like. A lot of people have realized that they've been so goal orientated at they've missed out or not even missed out they never really. Chilly spent time with who they are and what they want so they're learning how to connect with themselves, yeah most of my I said almost all my actually all my clients High Achievers and people that have really knocked it out of the ballpark and their professional career even if they don't realize it, have been, very goal-oriented but haven't actually stopped to say these the goals that I want to work on so similar to think how I've operated in the past and where would I have dealt with and kind of sounds like similar to what you've. Who you work with as well. Very often we set our sights on something and then we try to accomplish it without asking why we're trying to accomplish it or really getting you know diving in deep this happened to me was soccer. My first-ever presentation was the worst advice I've ever received this find your purpose because. Picked find your purpose made it soccer and in never question why and lo and behold half my life later. I have no idea who I am did not achieve my goal. And I'm nothing left and I had to build from from less than nothing and so yeah people I think operate and very general statement. Without making space to reflect and question in to evaluate and then to reiterate and that causes a lot of issues I mean look at it in. Relationships that were in is this still the right relationship or what must I have to I have to do to make it the relationship this is the right career home but I'm so afraid I've spent 20 years in this career what happens if I leave it who am I and. They're tough tough questions the face but if you don't the the outcome of another 20 years in something that you don't want to be in. Is a little bit worse that's a lot worse you know past is a sunk cost stunts over with can't live in it yeah. So I would love to know because you know we've talked about more than just a lot obviously that's the title of the podcast but, i-i'm actually this question just gave me to stop because I'm itching to know what would be because what we have talked about so far with you and a lot of awesome facets different facets of like oh I remember my point Sorry Amelia. We are talking about finding your purpose that was the worst advice. It's along the same lines of like just manifest it or you know visualize it and it's yours like these kind of toxic positivity as Chuan liners, that we think is so helpful but it's more it's more than just that one liner of find your purpose you know, do something you love and you'll never work a day in your life it's not necessarily true you're still gonna be working it's a different. Emotional connection to work right. So those when when you hear when you hear somebody come up with those one-liners of just you know find your purpose and it'll be fine yes ads having a true north direction is beautiful, and what why like that next question of like Simon sinek you know know your why don't have to be a business owner to have to know your why. What is really the motivation. Around that purpose and what is that purpose not only going to bring about for you but for you know the community around you like purpose is huge and human design it's one of the things that I talk about in my readings with your Incarnation cross because it's not, something that is definitive of what you're going to do but when you know what you're connected to and your passion. Then it's being able to flush that out right with deeper decisions then. Soccer because the utility software be like great what about soccer do you like what what do you play to do a soccer which I'm sure people would always ask that question and you might have been. Sick of it right or did nobody follow up with that question no really it'll just say great cool sounds good, my dad then goes get a degree you know get a back-up plan but no people Ray I don't think people care where they didn't care as much better maybe than it when I asked, I've never really had anyone asking what I want to do with my career unless they were networking. I don't know about you to see really hmm I mean I don't know I guess lately I've been having deeper conversations with people on her wise right like. I end that might have been a conscious decision of I was the networking you know. Queen three years ago I was networking everywhere and that was very important to me and I'm not say that networking is not important however I wasn't very choosy at first of the spaces. And I realized that when you do go into spaces that are people first not promotional first. You tend to get to know each other, a lot faster because it's coming from a different place like I even love to shake things up and I think I've told you this before when I go to a networking event I never ask anybody what they do my first question first and foremost is so what inspires you to come here today. And some people catch it and I almost see them relax I like oh well you know I really loved this or I've I just moved to Chicago or X Y Zed. Others won't and they'll instantly go into their 30-second pitch, like oh well I'm a developer and you know I'm looking forward to the lot like this. I like to ask little deeper conversations let's go deeper questions. Yeah 100% And when I go to networking events or when I meet people I don't like asking what do you do but I like to ask how do you like spending your time. And I think that what gets you up in the morning. And people most people go you mean when I do like what do I do yeah I guess if that's what you how you want to answer the question it's not exactly what I asked but sure tell me what you do like, but yeah because I know I honestly don't really care what they do I care how they're like to spend their time, and when someone tells you oh I'm a you know an account executive for like JY company X you know you just like that doesn't tell you anything. So like how do you like spending your time tell me right I got a big project you're working on tell me about the project. You got you are going to CrossFit and don't even care about work tell me about CrossFit yeah it's yeah that's about titles. Exactly that's actually a perfect segue to the question that's been in the back of my head for a little bit. With what we've been chatting about with you and getting to know you about you know not only our love for adventure travel and soccer and you know your your realism. Well it'd be one thing that you would love to share that you think would probably shock people I feel like there's something when you tell people you like this or do this or whatever that is you were like really I would not guess that about you. Shock people. We're just like just like the eyebrow raise yeah I mean there's I have a really strong passion for cpg companies and. When I was initially decided to become an entrepreneur the first company I was going to create was a blend of coffee and omega-3 fatty acids it's going to be called Omega Bean. And that developed from my passion for soccer because I wanted to be the best player. You can only practice so much become the best player so I moved into weights and nutrition. And so started studying nutrition and became really passionate about that Arena, I actually was going to go become a dietitian but they cancelled my major halfway through school. And so that was kind of the first company and I didn't ever launched it ended up launching a supplement later on in life but really that has created a bit sustained a passion for, cpg companies so I Mentor for incubators out here in Austin I'm you know involved in that industry and it doesn't have anything to do what I do, by so cool I did not know that get us those those little things right of like. Yeah thank you people that give you passion so how can people get to know you better stop you listen to you perhaps and where would they be able to find you. Come down to Austin and say hi but if you can't do that find me on Lincoln and look up dr. Benjamin Ritter. And the only one connected me to tell me you heard me here but also get a live for yourself consulting.com check out my podcast if you didn't podcasts events and coaching Services that's live for yourself consulting.com, anything else you'd like to discuss take your braids I don't know. The more than just piece I think we are all more than just anything you know we think about I mentioned this earlier about never really being able to complete the things that fulfill us because they fulfill us and if we could then we would be lacking. But remember that we have created that thing that we think fulfills us so nothing is more than you. So keep that in mind when you're in stressing out about getting stuff done or being successful that you are more important than things that you feel are important mic drop, well done sir well thank you so much dr. Benjamin reader I was my I was big when I say doctor for bead here for sharing your Insight your energy has been so good to how the tables turn and be on my podcast this time and I'm definitely looking at Austin soon so for those of y'all who follow, more than just podcast Instagram I when I do see him I'm sure I will post on Stories the in the interim all the information will be stored in the show notes on the website, and once again thank you so much for being here Benjamin and thank you all for listening and we'll see y'all soon bye. All right folks once again thank you so much for listening to this epic episode all of the resources and links connected to it will be in our show notes located on our website more than, stop bus route.com if you liked this episode which I would be shocked if you did not go ahead and hit that like subscribe review and share also remember that this episode and all others have been made possible by Financial contributions and support, from listeners like you so if you would like to hear more stories of how epic humans are more than just pop on over to our GoFundMe and make a contribution, also don't forget to follow us on Instagram at more than just podcast thanks again see you. Music.