More Than Just: Conversations with Misfits, Entrepreneurs and Change-makers

More Than Just a Podcast — with Mel McSherry (She/They)

• Mel McSherry • Season 2 • Episode 14

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Welcome back, friends! It is such a wonderful feeling to be kicking off Season 2. 

In today’s episode, I get personal and vulnerable as I share some of my own struggles in my business. But I also share how those struggles have changed my thinking and what I’m shaping this show to be as a result.

I also discuss:

  • Getting caught up in selling my solutions and losing focus on what matters most
  • How you don’t have to be 10 steps ahead to be a leader
  • Un-structuring my business and focusing on my strengths and desires
  • What I hope makes this show more than just a podcast


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🙌 This podcast is supported by listeners like you! If you enjoyed this episode, we'd appreciate it if you could make a donation of any amount at this link. You rock!

Music. I'm your host, Mel McSherry. On this podcast, we share how we are more than just descriptors and titles that identify us in our lives, our businesses, and our communities. In this safe common room space, you'll hear stories of success and lessons learned from, myself and other misfits, entrepreneurs, and change makers. My intention is to inform, connect, and expand our knowledge so we can be mentally, emotionally, financially profitable as we create the change we desire. My promise is that from each episode, you'll take away not only inspiration and a connection to someone you never knew before, but also the encouragement, the action steps and the support so you can create what you want. Music. Hello everyone. This is your official welcome to Season 2 of More Than Just. I am your host, Mel McSherry, and for those of you who are coming back to us from Season 1, welcome home. I'm so happy that you have come back. And for those of you who are just finding us, welcome to our safe common room space. I wanted to kick off this season like I did in Season 1. Really honor the premise, the theme, the feeling, the intention behind MTJ. And the first episode that I did was episode one of season one, More Than Just a Podcaster. And in this episode I want to talk how this is more than just a podcast and delve into a little bit more about and into my story because that is part of the reason I wanted to create this podcast, because we don't get a lot of opportunities to share not only what we've learned, but more importantly, where we are at. So in season one, I talked about just the premise of the podcast and how the main question what is your main title or identifier and how are you more than just. Was inspired by my journey connected to titles and descriptors and my connection to them. If you haven't listened to that episode, I highly encourage you to do so. I highly encourage you to listen to all the episodes because let me tell you, every single one of them have just been. Awe-inspiring. And I'm not even bullshitting. These have just been so amazing. What I'm going to say is that that theme continues throughout season two at the time of recording. This episode, I've already interviewed about half a dozen of our guests, and each one has just, again, brought such a beautiful authenticity and vulnerability. And that is so important because especially for those of us who are entrepreneurs, small business owners, or just, you know, misfits, change makers, all of those things, it's not easy for us to feel seen and heard. And those are probably some of the most important feelings that we could have, some of the most important validations that we can have as humans. And I wanted to start this off because why this is more than just a podcast is because this isn't about who can we get, this isn't about what can we sell, this isn't about you know what's popular right now that we could add to the conversation. This is truly about having a safe common room space where we can meet each other where we are at and talk about the lessons that we have learned, talk about what we're working on now, and coming from places of live and learned and fucked up and moved on. Because I don't really think there's a lot of opportunity for us to do that. And so this is more than just a podcast, because this is a drop in the bucket of change. This is one of the contributions that I would love to make in my lifetime to expand our community, to expand our education, to expand our awareness of people's journeys, of people's situations, of the humanness behind the people behind the people because we do get so niched down and honed in on the same story over and over again, especially for those of us who are, again, small business owners and entrepreneurs. I was reflecting on this today that I was taught not to necessarily meet people where they are as a coach, consultant, guide. I was originally taught to show people where they could go. And though that is beautiful, I realized how much that negated the beauty of the moment. Of meeting people where they're at. I was so focused on how can I solve your problem and I'm sure a lot of you coaches consultants are kind of nodding along like yep yep you gotta sell to the problem right or you have to sell your lifestyle as the solution like there is this obsession I want to say with showing people how we are. I want to encourage people that they can truly create what they want and do it in a way that is in aligned with who they are so they can honor their lives and they can engineer their success in their own way, the way that they are designed to bring it about. However, I also got caught up in this rhetoric that I can't share where I'm struggling. I need to just share the results. When I was in the fitness industry, it was all about the before and after pictures, right? In the coaching consulting space, it was all about how How quickly can I make this money? How can I show how I'm spending this money? How can I tell people how to do the same, and create this lucrative lifestyle? Now, I'm not gnarking on money. Money is amazing. Money is fucking beautiful. I love money. Money is coming to me because it wants to be spent, and it's mine. However, what I was doing was I was skipping over that importance of seeing and recognizing people where they are at now and walking side by side with them. So often we feel that we need to be ahead to be a leader and what this podcast has shown and I pray to the gods and everybody in between that it continues to show is, That everybody is a leader in its own way. It doesn't have to mean that you are, Always ten steps ahead of somebody or you always have the solution. But when we talk about what we have learned in our own way, what that does is that leads others to honor their path, to honor their decisions, to honor what they want. And we really need to hone that in deeper. You will hear me talk pretty often on this season. I always sprinkle in a little bit of human design. For those of you who don't know, I use human design as a spiritual tool in my guidance. But I also mention the 2027 solar plexus mutation. Now, this episode is not going to be a lesson in human design. Please feel free to Google it. But that has definitely increased my passion, and purpose and mission to continue to show others how beautiful their uniqueness and individuality are and how to connect on a level that is deeper than transactional. We do get caught up in sales. We do get caught up in numbers. We do get caught up in the measurable, quote unquote, successes that we have. Because we feel, especially for those of us who are women and femme identified, we use that as part of our validation. But as we start to peel back those layers of performative validation and really come from a place of personal internal validation. That to me is such a beautiful shift because when we start meeting each other where we're at first, having really beautiful conversations that have no angles attached to them. Coming from a pure place of feeling safe, feeling heard, feeling seen, and then being able to continue on that conversation and then from there support each other how you see fit is game-changing. Like that really is the sustainability, that is the longevity, that is where we are moving, toward. As we move into 2027, the traditional ways that we run business will no longer compute. We're already seeing it after COVID. We talk about this, a lot of the guests talk about this a lot, as well as how we have shifted so many things because of COVID and how some of us, yours truly included, are still. Not OK. And how, hopefully, we are utilizing that space, how we are utilizing that new information to make new decisions. For the first time in my life as an entrepreneur, which I have been an entrepreneur since 2010, my business has been 100% virtual since 2013. So I've been here for a hot minute, y'all. For the first time in my entrepreneurial life, I have no goal board. I really don't have a clear picture of what I want to accomplish this year. And that's not what I was expecting. So when my son is home for the holiday, I take that off of work. And I typically take a lot of December off just to reevaluate, just to see how the year is going. And honestly, I'm usually brain dead by then anyway. This winter, at first, started off no differently than it had before. I had things scheduled. I had my calendar blocked off. I was ready for vacation. But then something interesting happened. In full transparency, my business has definitely shifted in the financial way. And did that come with some grieving and what the fuckery and pure panic? Absolutely. Not going to lie. Especially again, like I said earlier, I had been taught that my financial successes, are the anchors for creating more connections. So when that measurable lessened and therefore I had to make changes in how I ran my business, so going from having a team to coming back to just me, to cutting some of the areas that I am spending money on, to really reevaluating where my time and energy is being spent, And one of those spaces was social media. I realized that I loved my support, and I continue to love my support to this day. My support that I had who did my social media for me. And yet, when I got that power back, I realized how much I slowly lost myself. The words that they used were mine. How they were used, I realized came, as I looked back, came with a little bit of like, ooh, factor, like, oh, that's, ooh, I don't, okay. Well, it's out there, cool, we'll, you know, we'll move with it. And as I was looking back and trying to maintain the consistency, and this time I'm using the word consistency as in, you know, the same schedule that my support had created. I hated it. I didn't wanna talk at all. I didn't know what to talk about and I felt this huge need to just shut the fuck up. To just observe, be aware, and rest. During that time, I found this amazing book called Wintering. I want to say it's called Wintering, Rest and Reflection during Difficult Times. I'll put the actual title in the show notes. I don't have it in front of me right now. And if you are currently going through a gray area in your life and or your business, I highly recommend this book. Because again, this human met me where I was at. And the way that they write and the way that they tell their story is beautiful and connecting and in by no which way or form. And aha, I figured it out. Here it is. Let's talk through this because this is what I felt. And though their story, her story, is 100% mirroring mine, it's that emotional connection And we're just like, oh, thank you. I'm not crazy. And it wasn't, you know, an operations manual to get out of that wind turing. What it was, was it was honoring and recognizing and connecting me to where I am now and helping me be present in that space. Hey friends, liking the episode? Pretty epic, isn't it? Well, guess what? This episode and all others have been made possible financial support and contributions from listeners like you. So if you would like to continuously hear how these epic humans are more than just go ahead and head over to our GoFundMe and make, a contribution. Cool? All right, let's get back to the magic. And that is something I have heard a lot from the guests last season and the guests that I have interviewed, have had the privilege of interviewing so far is that reflection, is that anchoring into the present, feeling what you need to feel and not trying to force your way out of it. Yes, there are a ton of beautiful resources to support you as you move through it because you know what a lot of times the only way out is through and the more that we can share those stories, the more that we can be honest with with ourselves of where we are struggling and talking about it without a fear that we are going to somehow not look like a good entrepreneur or a good coach or a good person, the better. Because we all struggle. And thankfully to that book, as well as to the conversations that I had with my trusted individuals, I did and continue to do that instead of looking 15 steps ahead, which sometimes I still need to do as a mom of an autistic child. So that part doesn't go away. But I don't have to necessarily always do that in my business. Will I go back to that? Who knows. But right now in this season of my life, of my business, I don't want to. I don't want to have a constructive, a structured plan of action. Here's what I know to be true right now, as I said, in this season of my life and of my business. I know my gifts. I know my strengths. I know I am done calling people in on my own. I want to partner up with people. I want to collaborate with people. I want to change up how I talk, who I talk to. For those of you who don't know, I'm a speaker and I've been speaking internationally for the last four years. I wanna redo my talk. I wanna be in new spaces. I wanna be in smaller, more intimate spaces. Like these little things, I probably, well, I don't wanna say I probably wouldn't have. However, I may have once I hit that point where I'm just like, fuck all of this and fuck you all. Instead, I took this quiet time that the universe bestilled on me to reevaluate. What do I want? How do I want to feel? What does being profitable mentally and emotionally mean to me now? Because remember, profitability is threefold. It's mentally, emotionally, and then financially. So continuing these lessons for myself, what is that for me? What do I want inside of that space? And then to not proactively seek it out. Because you know what? That's not in my design. Did I do that before? Absolutely. Did I have measurable results and successes? Absolutely. Did I enjoy them? Like, I did, but I didn't. But I was missing the point. I was missing the point that this was more than just coaching. I was missing the point that this is more than just a sale. I was missing the point that this is more than just a tick on my successful belt loop. This is about us. This is about connecting with each other. This is about walking, like I said, side by side with somebody who allows me to, and supporting them from their place, from their strengths, from their resources. And then see what tools I can have or what strengths I have that can help them and support them as they grow the rest of it. As we move into the season two, as we move into this year, which is right now 2023 and beyond, as we move into this shift of how we connect with each other, how we communicate with each other, how the environment, everything will shift. This is the time for us to come back to who we are. This is more than just a podcast because we're not here to share just to share. We didn't step into this space, to sell anything to you. We didn't step into this space with an angle. I encourage every single one of my guests to answer the starting question right now. Don't think about it. Don't overthink it. And know that where the conversation goes is where it's meant to go that day. And what you share, what you choose to share, is yours to share. And it is beautiful, and it is valid, and it is needed. So this is more than just a podcast in so many ways. And again, this has also just been a continuing reminder for myself, the beauty, the power that we have, when we meet each other where we're at, when we share stories, when we are asked to share and the stories that we share when we feel safe. Carry so much beauty in them. As I said before, we all deserve to be seen and heard and recognized. And that is my ongoing mission, not only for this podcast and for the stories that are shared and the guests that say yes to come on, but also in my life and in my business. Because there's power in the individual And within that power of the individual comes the power of the collective. I see like this puzzle piece, right? Like we're all different puzzle pieces and if we're meeting people later. Puzzle pieces aren't really going to fit together, right? If you're trying to jam up with somebody at the wrong time, puzzle piece isn't going to fit. But when you're meeting somebody where they are, all of a sudden you know, A, if you're a fit or not, and B, how you do fit together. And then from there can build out this beautiful picture of what we want, not only as us as individuals, but us as a collective. So I'm so proud of this podcast. I am so proud of my guests. I'm so just fucking tickled pink that not only does this podcast make sense, because you know what? Sometimes you're like, does this work? But we have continued to receive that validation, not only again, through our guests, but also through the fact that we have been able to maintain our status of being self-sustainable. Sponsors that have just instantly said yes and have helped us create these episodes financially. Those of you who have felt called to contribute. Have helped this come to life and will continue to help this come into light. Again, at any time, if you feel called to contribute to bring Season 2 to life and beyond, our GoFundMe is always available. Please feel free to donate as often as you can, as much as you can. And if you can't, there are so many other beautiful ways that people have supported us that have brought in what we needed to be able to have this space. So again, that validation from y'all, I am and will always be, like just internally, eternally, not internally. Letters, eternally grateful because I know that this is really creating something. I'm excited about how this is going to continue to progress. We have ideas of creating a collective of other outreaches and outsources and resources to build, to continue to build this collective, to continue on these conversations because having conversations is step one. Next step is what are we going to do because of them? Conversations are beautiful. Action steps are are clutch because this is more than just a podcast. This is a call to change. This is a call to connection. This is a call to shift where we are at now and truly come together in a place of of safety and a place of acceptance and a place of being seen, heard, and recognized, and working together as a collective with our individual strengths, strategies, resources, et cetera. Because none of this is going to happen alone. This podcast didn't happen with just me. These changes are not going to happen, A, overnight, and B, not alone. So this is more than just a podcast, because this is a collective. This is a continuing conversation. This is an eternal reminder to meet people where they are at because where you are at, where they are at, is beautiful. And the more that we can share, the more that we can connect, the more that we can feel seen, heard, and recognized, the more this really is going to become a better place. Do I have Michael Jackson now stuck in my head? Possibly. If you don't know what song that is, it's fine. I'm not going to sing it because it's going to get stuck in your head. But again, I am so excited that season two is up and ready. I am so excited for you to continue to hear stories from amazing humans. I am excited for for those of you who have joined us and for you to listen to season one. I'm just excited for it all. And I am grateful for you. I am grateful for my guests. I am grateful for the support. And I'm just, like I said, I'm fucking tickled pink to see where this goes because it's gonna go somewhere. And is it gonna be the end all be all? No, nothing is. But it's gonna be a contribution and a contribution that we can be proud of, and a contribution that will hopefully, at least as long as I live, will continue on, and will create change that we will never see in our lifetime. But if we all don't do something, nothing is going to change. And even that simple act of shifting from trying to be five steps ahead of people, or trying to think ahead to solve the problem, or think ahead and try to answer the question, or think ahead and try, you know, just thinking ahead, and really coming from a place of connectivity, sitting where you are now, and having conversations from what you know to be true, and be open to what you don't know. The fucking opportunities are limitless, and I'm here for it. So welcome to More Than Just. We are More Than Just a podcast. I thank you again for being here and I'm excited for you to continue on this journey, as we move through season two. All right, folks, once again, thank you so much for listening to this epic episode. All of the resources and links connected to it will be in our show notes, located on our website, morethanjust.buzzsprout.com. If you liked this episode, which I would be shocked if you did not, go ahead and hit that like, subscribe, review, and share. Also remember that this episode and all others have been made possible by financial contributions, and support from listeners like you. So if you would like to hear more stories of how Epic Humans are more than just, pop on over to our GoFundMe and make a contribution. Also, don't forget to follow us on Instagram at more than just podcasts. Thanks again. See you next time! Music.